


i'm your canvas

by Consulted_moriarty



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Depression, M/M, OCD, Self Harm, Smut, molestation mention, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-05 14:50:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6709321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Consulted_moriarty/pseuds/Consulted_moriarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i am very sincerely fucked and this is where i can let it out. i do NOT intend to upset anyone. do not read if any of the mentioned tags bother you.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. addiction

**Author's Note:**

> i am very sincerely fucked and this is where i can let it out. i do NOT intend to upset anyone. do not read if any of the mentioned tags bother you.

the first day is a dull thud, a kind suggestion. a cast shadow lures overhead and drowns out the sunshine, enveloping tyler in darkness. he's so, so alone.

well, josh is there. he has to remember that. josh, josh, josh is there. one, two, three. josh is there.

color boy. this month is a test trial of blue, a baby blue that doesn't reach his roots but brings out the hints of it in his eyes. tyler's amused. tyler's in love.

but day two is a war cry. day two drowns out day one with bright splashes of red over each bedroom wall. he retreats, runs and runs, before curling up in the bathroom.

josh says he doesn't have to. he really doesn't. but his supplies are right there, hidden right under the sink. it'll dull the roar of his dark disease like a cure. like a kiss from josh.

one he's never had. so he cuts instead. line after line. it's like his song, one he writes down on his thigh. josh hasn't seen this row, that's okay. he won't like this song, the _voice_ promises.

 

+

 

he casts long lines over tyler's face in the mirror. he draws out the dark circles under his eyes and tugs his lips down in a frown. _perfect,_ he suggests kindly. too kindly. tyler smiles instead, trying to test something new. it looks awkward and the stranger wipes it from his face with a sharp prick to the exposed cuts under his jeans. _remember,_ the voice urges, _don't let him know._

so tyler behaves, pastes a grin and tosses a joke when necessary. he doesn't let josh know. but josh is clever, josh knows each cue tyler leaves for him. the question comes when they're alone in tyler's room and tyler's fiddling with a bottle of paint.

'let me see your leg.' josh's words linger like moonshine from the window, curving a strange light through the otherwise dark room. tyler glances over his shoulder, coffee colored eyes fixated on his only other source of light. josh is shifting uncomfortably, clearly disappointed with being left alone on the bed. he lifts up and approaches tyler, a ghost in his room. tyler scrambles away when josh lowers near him. 'let me see. let me see.'

cadences. repetition. tyler eases, nodding his head. that's his language. a swallow allows his hands to peel away from their dig into the carpet, fingertips playing with the button of his jeans before he scrambles his ass from the tight material. untouched and uncleaned wounds splay perfectly. four sets, three lines, twelve rows. tyler's almost proud, but his hand isn't capable of that perfection. something else helped him.

josh cleans each one three times for tyler, using the last of the bandages in the first aid kit to wrap them up. tyler twitches the whole time, not in pain but in struggle. he's just barely there, really. a shade. josh grounds him like a downed plane when he touches tyler's chest with five fingers, smoothing them to place a palm over tyler's heart.

'little hummingbird wants out.' josh jokes, but tyler's not about to laugh. he's about to pass out from exhaustion.

 

-

 

a woodpecker finds the crippling wood of tyler's window frame. he wakes with a squinting expression, eyes drawn to the ceiling and fingers lingering over the firm white wrap of his left thigh. it ought to match, something suggests. _the left isn't like the right. make it right. MAKE IT RIGHT._

instead, he looks for the woodpecker. tyler finds slippers and a sweater (josh's) and steals to the morning dew in search of the annoying drill. the bird isn't found, leaving him to stand on the other side of his window. he looks in, spotting his bedroom in a different frame of mind. there's a figure lying on the bed, lanky and sleepy and carved in red. tyler swallows, thinking he's the one in bed.

_red. bed. red. bed. red. bed. it's you !!_

me, tyler thinks. it doesn't sit well with him. he turns, seeing josh crossing the sidewalk of the neighborhood and marching up tyler's yard with a wave. no, not me, he decides. not today.


	2. run boy, run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the only line i've been seeing today, over and over, is: 'what the hap is fuckening.'  
> this applies. thx.

_he looks so pretty on his knees !!!_

oh, the voice is awfully excited today. yet there's nothing really going on, nothing that evokes its company. it's just...there, the shadow in the sunlight that josh is to tyler. this has become their weekly ritual, patching tyler up. only josh manages to find new ways to lure tyler's attention away from the looming raven feathers dripping down the wall and instead onto the new trial of pink. god, pink, really? and yet, it's the most incredible color tyler's seen touch josh's scalp. there's still dye on his forehead and around the line of his hair, tracing down behind his ears. tyler notices this because tyler notices everything.

like how pretty josh looks on his knees.

he's inspecting the rows, tracing them with hands scrubbed three minutes apiece. a fingertip touches just too daintily and tyler's knees wobble, a breathy noise escaping his throat. josh looks up like he's discovered nirvana, eyes digging through tyler's soul and spotting the soldier buried in his foxhole.

'stop.' tyler tries to control them all, all of the company in the room, but only manages to get a response from josh. josh does as asked, stopping and pulling away. but he's still there, breath still close to the only thin material keeping tyler's lower body covered. he bends over, passing josh to pull his jeans back up. 'no more.' as in, he thinks, never again.

+

josh likes to touch the damage before he wraps it up, stealing it from the light of day to live in a coffin below the surface of thickly wrapped bandages. josh supplies them from the store down the block, a ritual walk he's taken to twice a month. biweekly. it's not right. two, two, two isn't right. tyler tries to voice that, but only shows it instead with an influx. a crescendo of damage, a conveying of lines. arms. tummy. more, more, more.

the voice _eats_ it up, devours him _alive._ trips home from school are to be spent in the bathroom, lingering with his supplies until the family demands their privacy in the one restroom of the home. that's what saves him each time, a gentle demand.

'get out, tyler!'

-

the first time josh touches tyler _there,_ it's not an accident. tyler knows it's not even as josh insists he _just brushed by._ tyler's left a mess, tucking in towards his tummy and promising himself he's going to pay for it later. tyler voices that, once, twice, thrice, and then josh drops to his knees. tyler's already on the ground, his shaky legs weak in the force of the typhoon storming his room. it closes in, the eye of the storm close and sucking air from his lungs. yet not a kiss graces his lips. not a touch comforts his arms or chest.

fingers pry his knees apart, leaving him exposed and helpless. he whimpers, because that's the right thing to do. and the voice slips in just as josh bends down.

 _snap, snap, SNAP his neck. won't see it coming!_ oh, there's tears. but they won't fall. they won't fall because delicate arrangements of flowers break through the wooden floorboards of tyler's room and his wandering fingers reach out for pink honeysuckle. he runs nails through the bouquet, carding fingers into josh's soft scalp. noises paint the walls, but only quiet when the voice gives way to the light of day. breathy sounds, shaky promises.

'oh, josh! josh! josh!'

+

 _that cannot happen ever again,_ the voice states, _or i'll begin. and i'll see to it that this is your **end.**_


	3. noose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw ur psychotherapist recommends you relive shit parts of your childhood!! reminder this is a vent fic. rape mention is only going to be in this chapter so feel free to skip or not read this chapter if necessary.
> 
> also: thanks for the kudos and comment(s), really appreciate the support and kindness !!

his fingers wind and bind the noose, securing the rope and loop with wide eyes fixating on the material of the scratchy bond. what are its roots? what's the story of the noose? he doesn't know, but he imagines it's had a clear beginning and end. he, on the other hand, doesn't get the opportunity to think the same. there's blurred lines, a kind suggestion that it's never really been a full life. if that's the case, the voice offers, then death isn't the end. blurred lines, blurred lines, blurred l i n e s.

up he goes, up and up on the chair. this is the furthest he's gone and he's not sure what caused this. but the result will be bitter, a crunching of the garage door opening and a scream from the family finding their quiet son a hanging image of a life. he watches in third person, a body outside his own and trapped to the ground with feet sunken into the cement.

_good, good, good, tyler. this is what we want. we want this, this, this._

the shadow sinks in through the puncture of poking rope threads in tyler's neck, slicing up his arms and boiling his blood. he cries out, partly from fear and partly from the loss of control.

a _RIP_ of the door to the garage flings open and oh, oh, oh, josh. joshjoshjosh. he's called three times and messaged nine, all of which tyler did not respond to. he's been busy, so busy.

'down! down!' no, no, no! josh, that's not right. that's not how tyler listens, that's not what he wants! he shifts, preparing to drop from the chair and there's arms around his torso. josh is with him on the chair, pulling at the noose. taking choice from tyler. but he doesn't fight, he doesn't fight because he's already lost. he twitches wildly, mouthing the third 'down' through chapped lips. not enough, josh, not enough repetition. but tyler cannot be bothered to think josh would understand that.

-

'you have to tell me.' josh insists. it's been two hours, thirteen minutes, and too many seconds since tyler's death. well, he's not really dead. long fingers are under his shirt to feel his own heartbeat, a thundering shake of his chest. he hasn't stopped shaking since his ass hit the carpet of his bedroom with josh falling down beside him. their shaky breaths indicated the lingering adrenaline rush. tyler glanced frantically around, missing the ginger root cutting through the corners of his room. missing the mint leaves dripping from josh's green hair. there's nothing, he's destroyed it all.

_your fault. your fault. y o u r fault._

'tyler, look at me.' josh speaks again, mostly because he hasn't received his answer from tyler. or anything, really. tyler obeys, only because josh's fingers turn his head by the touch of his chin. the other leans in, perfectly healed and arched lips touching against his own chapped and cracked disasters. he wishes he could feel it, wishes their first kiss could be more than one sided. he's not there and josh can tell, he pulls back and wishes that affection could cure the other. but its clear there's a barrier, a third party. a devoted interest. 'tell me.' josh whispers, speaking in their tiny bubble of protection. but it's not secret enough, not away from the eyes in the walls. tyler shakes his head and points to his bed where a mountain of blankets lie.

josh seems to take up the cue, lifting and returning with a bed sheet. he unfurls it, grabbing one end and flicking the other up into the air before dropping underneath with tyler against his thigh. the blanket falls slowly, bringing with it a cold air that closes them in with hot breaths and little noises. tyler pulls his knees to his chest, wishing it had been enough. josh seems to think about it for a minute, wondering how he can help, and then he speaks.

'why twelve? three lines, four rows. twelve.' he pauses, mulling over his own stance on the topic. 'why three?' tyler shakes his head at the second question and josh falls back to the first. 'why twelve?'

'my age.' he whispers back, clearly not speaking of his nineteen strong years on the planet. so something else, then. josh doesn't respond this time and it's up to tyler to provide more. he trusts josh, he really does. hazel eyes spot green vines creeping from the other, curling around his ankles and up his calves. 'when...h-e touched...' words. words. words.

_speak, little bitch._ the voice chides him because the voice can. it's not another source, another body, a voice trapped outside the blanket. the voice is inside tyler's head, crawling under his skin and melting with his thoughts.

'show me where.' oh, josh is really just so clever. tyler looks over in shock and josh points to his own chest before grabbing tyler's hand. 'you can do it. show me how.'

the worst part is he does. he does without hesitation. tyler turns onto his knees and runs his hands up josh's thighs, choking on a sob clawing up his throat. he drops a hand to his bandaged thigh and uses the other to push between josh's thighs. tyler turns his hand, palm cupping the other and fingers pushing in towards josh's ass. tyler looks up, thinking the other was a ghost. a shifting image. but then he blinks the tears from his eyes and sees the very real figure sitting and staring back at him. tyler pulls his hand back like its been burned, cradling it to his chest. josh's hands reach out slowly, fingertips pressing in on his left thigh where the bandage is exposed through lifted shorts.

'this...makes the touch stop.' he infers, frowning when tyler does not deny or agree to the thought. josh pulls his hands back slowly, trying to build ideas and needs out of gaps and spaces in tyler's speech. 'you're never this quiet,' he whispers, roots pushing up from the ground and cutting into tyler's back. tyler makes a soft noise of response, acknowledging the roots against his back more than josh's words. they push him in, dipping his forehead to touching josh's chest.

the other responds with hands on tyler's back, nails digging in. a hold. a noose.

_tyler can't leave._


	4. hometown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmm smut, probably. (Def morning smut in hometown pt.2)
> 
> thanks for the kudos, they kinda encourage me to keep going. keep writing down what im feeling. means a ton!

mother says the boys need to get out of town, need to head up to the woods and spend a weekend in the forest. disconnect from all the electronics, she advises, before pushing a sleeping bag into tyler's arms. the idea is initially exciting, until the shadow seeps out from under tyler's nails and smear oil up his arms. he watches in fixed focus as the darkness cloaks over him, shielding out the world and all the strange faces at home for easter. what a horrible time of year. tyler's lucky to steal away to his room.

 _touch yourself._ the voice mocks tyler, smearing slick gore between each finger like lubricant. _it'll be fun._ the dirty thoughts are the worst, especially as they strike at horrible times of day. tyler's hand drops to slide under the hem of his slacks, worming down to the lifts of scars up his thigh. he brushes over them, the memories running wild in his mind. how josh had touched him. how long ago had that been? his other hand touches at his neck, wondering if there still is any bruising left from how close he had been to dangling on the rope.

he feels lucid, really. his inveterate belief that all is well suggests that he ought to take his sanity and get off right there in his bedroom with his entire family just down the hallway. that thought alone drags nails up his thigh and he whimpers a moan into his sleeve. tyler's hand slips back to the warm air of the room, resting a moment before buttoning his slacks back up. he shouldn't, he really shouldn't.

_bet you'd be on your knees for him, you whore._

oh, he's feisty today. tyler hits at his head, hissing.

'get out, get out, get out!' he snaps, lifting from his chair. his family works to dull the noise, but tyler can't be seen outside his room with the tent in his pants. that defeat drops him back into his chair, teeth worrying with a finger between the sets of incisors. he really shouldn't. 'it's a bad idea.' tyler says without the violence he had a breath ago. the shadow, the stranger, he only chuckles. tyler doesn't need the push, he's good enough at supplying his own bad ideas. a hand breaks his arousal free, fingers toying with himself and working up to a full fantasy. josh is there, just as he is in all the recent images, and tyler moans wildly into the sleeve of his sweater at the idea of the others mouth on him. oh, it's horrible really.

there's a knock on the door and tyler gasps suddenly. he shifts and pulls up to his desk, picking up his pen in time for his dad to poke a head in.

'dinner.' the father announces, a grin cast over the mass supplies of camping gear in the corner of tyler's room. 'hey, you excited to be camping this weekend?' he asks, voice chipper and eager to find any sort of the excited son he once had. well, toddler, maybe. everything seemed downhill at the turn of him becoming a teen. tyler hoped his dad just thought it was a teenager thing, maybe tyler hoped it was a phase as well.

'y-eah.' he chokes out a response, unable to make eye contact. the father nods his head and closes the door, leaving tyler to slump with a sigh, his forehead contacting the desk.

+

josh got his driver's license before tyler so he's the one taking them up for their camping trip. he doesn't have his own car, though, so he borrows his mom's for the weekend. it's a sturdy vehicle, in tyler's somewhat limited knowledge, and equipped with plenty of space in the back to cram in their gear and all the blankets his mother insisted he take with them. she loaded up food, too, with suggestions that josh make sure tyler eats something over the weekend. they laugh, but tyler's laugh falls short of the quota.

the drive out is quiet, mostly because josh must know that tyler's not one for talking while in the vehicle. not unless he's charged up on a countless number of energy drinks and weaving tales and jokes just to get josh to laugh. this time is more...soft. gentle. tyler likes to think that the puffy clouds in the sky carried on a conversation for them, a wordless exchange of feeling and expression in shapes and glances. josh squeezes tyler's hand when they're there, only to wake him, but tyler thinks it lingers a moment longer than both were expecting.

they unload with apologies when bumping into each other, offering to instead work like a conveyor line with josh at the car and tyler bringing everything to rest around the fire pit. setting up the tent was no issue, though tyler nearly poked josh's eyes with one of the bones to their makeshift home. once the inside had been stuffed with the required blankets, josh tried to build a fire. tyler sat near the pit and offered kindling and suggestions, all of which josh seemed to ignore.

'lemme see.' tyler reached for the matches rather suddenly, taking them from josh's grasp and shifting onto his knees to lean over their boy scout's build. he snaps the match down the side of the box, admiring the glow for a moment before bringing it to the leaves and needles nestled under the tent of wood. three spots. tyler makes sure, using three different matches. it's the small things, he thinks, that probably remind josh of who he is. not the normal boy. not the normal boy building josh a fire.

 _the mistake._ the voice chides, introducing itself as a third party for the camping trip.

the night goes well, a roast of hot dogs and a struggle to find ketchup being the only real highlight of the whole adventure.

-

when they finally settle in for the night, tyler's as tense as he can be. they manage to wiggle into warmer clothes and brush their teeth outside but settling under the same blankets feels...strange. dangerous? it's not the first time, but they're really alone. it's exciting, tyler decides, because his parents aren't one room over. he could scream or moan and let josh fuck him...no. wait. no. no. no. behave.

_bet his mouth is so HOT. hot and he probably sucks so WELL._

tyler whimpers, and the noise sticks out against the gentle wind scratching up the side of their tent. his noise catches josh's interest and the other turns to rest a hand on tyler's shoulder. tyler pulls his knees to his chest, screwing his eyes shut and trying to pretend he's not-

_what? a slut? oh, you must HATE when i interrupt you. filthy slut._

yet the words are delicious, so good. tyler swallows, trying to think about sleep instead and not the warm chest pressing up against his back and the soft voice cooing for his attention. instead, he looks over his shoulder at josh. this kiss feels much different from the first time. tyler's there. no, he's beyond there. he's so utterly grounded by josh that his bones return to their grave below the soil their tent rests on and his hands dig for purchase on josh like the sun won't rise again and this is it. this is IT.

josh's wandering hand falls down the expanse of tyler's tummy and, likely to his surprise, finds that tyler's already as hard as he can be. josh doesn't pause, though, doesn't show hesitation.

_has he done this before? is he a professional?_

the voice mocks them both, acting like a third partner and distracting tyler. his kisses turn sloppy but that only seems to interest josh more. the other slides cold fingers down tyler's pants and it's...well, it's all a bit too pure for tyler.

_no hurt. you wanna hurt. tell him how bad you wanna hurt._

'h-urt,' tyler voices, slaughtering their kiss with a red smear, a need that he's shocked to have articulated. josh stills before pulling his hand away, perhaps assuming that tyler's falling back to darker times.

'what hurts, baby?' the pet name sets tyler alight and he moans, his own fingers sliding up his shirt and digging in against his ribs.

'need,' tyler chokes out, shaking his head and moving a free hand to hide his face. josh makes a soft noise, tugging tyler's hand down by the sleeve and smiling. even in the dimly lit tent, tyler feels blinded by josh's glow. he's sunshine on a mountaintop, the melting of a snow cap. tyler's all putty and it's all he can do not to taint josh with his oily hands. his crime ridden fingers, how they tug at josh's curls. tyler wants to steal the orange dye, smear it into his own hair. take a bit of josh everywhere he goes.

so it's his familiar. his addiction. of course the fix gets him high. but josh? a provider? the other seems deflated by the request, dropping his head back to a pillow beside tyler's. tyler shakes his head, turning and curling close. he's already lost the interest, already dipped into a depressive state. he falls asleep just like that, wishing josh had known what to do.


	5. hometown pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i said i would and i diddddd #smut
> 
> thank you for the kudos & comments. all have been wonderful and insanely appreciated.  
> probably gonna call this the last chapter unless anyone has any complaints for another. check out my other top fic with cute josh in a dress. have a good one!

there's two sunrises happening when tyler wakes the next morning. the first is the hot glow heating their tent. tyler squints and kicks blankets from his lazy bones, stretching and gasping when the air of the tent feels a bit too warm. he sits up enough to unzip the window opposite of the door. fresh air tumbles in, a morning dew filling his nostrils with moisture. he drops back down with a breath, glancing over and spotting the second sunrise. this one is much more beautiful, haphazard rays of orange splaying out over his pillow. josh warms tyler up more than the actual sun, making him shiver and curl into the others back.

this brings life to josh, sparking touches of flame as he turns and nuzzles into tyler. tyler's caught by surprise, finding josh much more eager than the night prior to be touching after...well, after everything.

_little bitch couldn't keep his mouth shut, could he?_

the word makes tyler break a sweat, the curse a sin on his shoulders. he huffs a breath and kisses at josh's cheek and forehead, fingers threading the rays of sunshine and making home among the star. josh's eyes open, all glints of reds and browns swarming and absorbing tyler. he should be embarrassed, but he's not. he's courageous in the morning light. josh lifts rather suddenly, making tyler slump into his pillow with a breath. he watches the other coming overhead, finding the warmth of josh's knee gliding over his thighs before he's straddled. tyler stutters, hands and eyes falling to dig nails into josh's thighs. the other seems to approve of this, rolling his hips and earning a wild breath from tyler. a gasp.

the moisture in the tent is a lake flooding his lungs, moss and small pebbles making home among his bronchioli. josh's kiss becomes the suctioning breath, the hopeful promise that he will breathe and feel his heart pound once more. josh stops at once, seemingly aware of tyler's thoughts. had he been speaking aloud? no, not possible. not when his lips have been stolen by his suitor. 

'what hurt, tyler?' josh brings up a conversation tyler thinks was long dead. he gasps and blinks hard, trying to refocus to the surface. all has been feeling, tickling touches and menacing grinds. now words? now?

'w-ah,' tyler shakes his head, appearing confused. morning breath lingers between them, hopeful hints of toothpaste but strong aromas of, well, something worse. his nose scrunches at josh's parted lips and he blushes, moving to sit up. josh doesn't leave his lap, sitting taller than tyler and looking down at him cautiously. tyler lifts up for a soft kiss, bumping their noses after. 'ca-n't feel,' he articulates dully, gaze falling to their laps. so close, so far away. he whimpers and wiggles his hips towards josh. in turn, josh only shifts back. tyler pales, looking back up. the gaze is fixed, the judgement of a god raining down on tyler. he shivers, using his arms to cover his torso despite a shirt still doing its job. 'unless you hurt.' tyler finishes softly, chewing his lip.

josh seems to mull this over. his hands rest on tyler's chest, palms down. he pushes suddenly and tyler cries out when he falls back to the pillows and comforting blankets. josh keeps his hands on tyler's torso, slowly moving them up to tyler's neck. the touch is gentle, loving. thumbs rub over tyler's adam's apple. josh's hips grind down and tyler writhes wildly below him, gasping and pushing his neck up towards josh's hand. josh moves his palm to cover the front of tyler's neck, his other hand trickling back to tyler's chest. through his shirt, nails dig in and josh suddenly runs them down past his bellybutton.

tyler lights up like he's stepped out of his shuttle too close to the sun. his skin cripples and singes, burned hairs and wrinkled flesh perfectly not present. josh's hand rubs over his erection better than his arousal ever could and tyler falls quiet in a sort of confusion over the hand keeping him to the pillow and the other hand working at him.

_this is it! THIS IS IT!_ the voice suddenly joins, making tyler gasp and squirm again. this tightens josh's hand, his large fingers closing in around tyler's neck. the shadow, the skin underneath tyler's, flares and stretches. it thinks he's under attack, his own hands coming up and grabbing josh's wrists. josh leans down, lips brushing over tyler's.

'is this what you wanted, baby?' the pet name pulls an unbelievably guttural noise from tyler's chest, one that rattles his bones and organs loose. 'to choke? feels better with my hand than rope, doesn't it?' josh coos, hand continuing to tighten until tyler's breaths turn frantic. air's hard to come by, like he never opened the window and sealed their fate in the closed space of the tent.

tyler's hips jerk up towards josh's hand and he shivers. josh's fingers find their way to the hem of tyler's pants and tug them down, slipping him free. he works with determination in mind, closing his hand tight around tyler's slender throat.

'gotta come,' josh whispers, nose bumping against the writhing tyler below him. 'gotta come for me. doing so good,' he chimes in, grinning when tyler loses himself and spills over his shirt. he cries out, josh's hand immediately gone and large breaths falling into his lifting torso. tyler arches off the ground before jerking his hips up towards josh's hand, working himself through his own orgasm. he slumps when it's over, shaking and blinking away the moisture from his eyes. josh litters him in kisses, patching the fresh bruising of his neck in promising love. trust. tyler's not scared, nor is he upset. and clearly josh didn't mind doing it. 'you're forgetting something,' josh whispers after a long moment, grabbing tyler's hand and pressing it over his still clothed erection.

tyler nods his head, pulling his hand back to put himself away. he feels gross, praying they'd wander down to the creek to clean up afterwards. josh pulls him up before pulling his own arousal out, looking between tyler and his hand gripping at the base. tyler swallows, unsure of how to please josh back.

_your mouth, slut._

he bends down, lips parting and mouth filling in one go. tyler almost immediately gags and chokes, which is something that josh appears to like when he chokes out an unbelievable moan. tyler repeats the process, choking and losing saliva over the other. his hand replaces josh at the base, sucking and getting him off. it takes josh almost as long, finishing without any warning and into tyler's mouth. tyler initially panics, gasping and pulling off with a harsh cough when he's inhaled the other. he bends over, josh giggling and rubbing a hand over his back. josh leans down to kiss at his ears and cheek again, all meant to tend to the new territory they had ventured into.

+

the creek water is cold, so cold. tyler shivers and his toes are the only bits even touching the running liquid. he sits on a rock, jean legs rolled up his calves and toes wiggling against the babbling brook. josh's feet are submerged and his shirt is off. he bends over and tyler watches him scoop water into hand before splashing it over his shoulder. moisture rolls down his back, glints of it sparkling in the sunlight. josh turns and scoops up another cold flush, eyeing tyler's shirt. tyler frowns and looks down to the material sticking to his torso, pulling it off so josh can splash him. he yelps, jumping slightly and laughing. josh approaches to run his cold hand over tyler's tummy.

tyler's eyes scan the other side of the creak, finding the grass has bloomed much higher than on his side. the hues of green and brown tree trunks make josh's hand stand out awkwardly, pulling orange flowers into view. tyler grins, a wet hand patting down josh's bedhead. to no avail, the hair does not tame.

'you ready to go home?' josh wonders, spreading tyler's knees and working his way between. he leans into the slanted rock, leaning up against tyler and looking up for a kiss. tyler gives in immediately, hands snaking around josh's neck. he shakes his head. grey clouds puff in, chugging overhead with no intention to stay around. but from them falls an angel, one with large wings. tyler looks up and watches it happen, josh following suit. 'whatcha watchin'?' he asks, turning his head to scan the sky.

'we should probably go home.' tyler whispers, letting out a breath of defeat. his shoulders drop, the burdens of his life closing in. the shame. the mistakes. 'looks like it's gonna rain.'

 


End file.
